Okay, so this is an actual blog post. The first one since like May, I think? Not that surprising since I’m the worst blogger in the entire world. So, because it’s been awhile, you know some things have happened. Some bad, but a lot good. We’ll jump into the shitty stuff first.
May was NOT a good month for me. As you may know if you’re a follower of the blog, we put my dog down in May. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. I had had Little Dog for 9 years and he was the light of my life. He never failed to make me smile. I wish I could have properly showed him how much I loved him before it was too late. I called in to work that day cause no way in hell was I going to make it through seven hours after having just lost my dog. That weekend I drove down to Galveston for Robin’s graduation. I think that was the last post I posted until August.
The week after my dog was put down, Jonathan came into town. We hadn’t seen each other since the end of March when we saw Jacksepticeye do his live show in Dallas.
Jonathan and I had come to a point in our relationship, probably in March or maybe April, where it seemed that our futures were no longer making sense together. I started pressuring him for us to talk about what we were doing. I even talked to Robin all weekend about how I was thinking we may be breaking up. Jonathan came to stay with me, and we hung out for about three days. On the second day, which was also our 5-and-a-half-year anniversary, we finally talked.
We talked for a really long time and we came to some easy conclusions: we didn’t want the same things for the future (I want to travel and live in a bunch of different places, he’s happy where he is; he doesn’t want kids, I want at least one), and the most important thing, our relationship had started to feel more like a friendship. We were best friends who made out. Together we realized it had been that way for about a year.
I’ve struggled for so long on how to talk about this, but I figured all I could do was be honest and open. Once again, one of the hardest things to happen to me, on top of it being such a huge decision for us to make.
Jonathan and I were together for so long, we didn’t even know how to be single, or how to interact with each other. We talked so much during the first week I eventually had to cut off all contact because it felt like nothing had changed. It’s been four months (today actually marks four months), and things are much simpler. We don’t talk very often, maybe once every few weeks. But, I do find myself missing him, and craving that connection. I know it was the best thing for us to do in the end, but it’s still a piece of myself I won’t ever get back.
Okay! Let’s move on to good things.
One of the last times I stayed at Jonathan’s apartment, I watched a little cartoon called Miraculous Ladybug and Chat Noir. I very suddenly, and very intensely fell into the fandom of that show. I’ve never joined a fandom so fast or become completely immersed in one the way I have with this show. I loved it so quickly that I even made a Tumblr blog dedicated it. And in August, the fandom was doing a prompt list, a prompt for every day of the month, and they would upload writing, art, or music. Whatever they wanted to create. I decided that was my chance to make a mark in the fandom, and since I was so enamored with the fanfiction that was out there, I started writing for the prompt month. I only got like five pieces out, but they’re doing pretty well. I was am very proud of the work I did for those, and people seem to be enjoying them.
Another happy thing is that I uploaded videos to YouTube. I’ve been wanting to for so long, and I just finally forced myself to do it. I’ve hit a creative streak recently and its paying off by giving me content.
I also started my internship type thing for my associates degree! In December I will be receiving my second associates. And two associates totally equal one bachelors, right? Right?
And lastly, I’ve made a stride with photography. I get noticed by scam brands on insta all the time, and I’m thinking that if I continue to produce quality content, actual brands will start hitting me up as well. This next week, Robin and I are going into Denton, so I can take some photos of her and the Square. I’m hoping not too many people will be there so she’ll feel comfortable posing. If anyone has any advice for her or me, I’d love to hear it!
So that’s everything I have to share right now. Next week will be a video upload (hopefully). I want to do my makeup while answering some About Me type questions! If you have any, please post below! Also, if you want to see any particular kind of video, give me your suggestions! Thanks guys!